Thursday, October 23, 2008

Ten Reasons Why Sarah Palin Would Make a Great Medieval Queen

Some worrywarts are concerned that if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the 2008 presidential election, we Americans will have a woman with quite limited qualifications sitting a heartbeat away from the presidency, occupied by a 72-year-old whose personality makes him a textbook candidate for a massive heart attack. But am I going to worry? Not me! I'm just going to sit back and pretend that I'm in medieval England. Because, as you will see, Palin would make a wonderful medieval queen.


 

  1. Inability to accurately describe vice-president's role shows grasp of need to expand role of queen when circumstances demand it
  2. Taking daughters uninvited to events at taxpayer expense, then claiming that they are there on official business, shows determination to groom them for hereditary office
  3. Hostility toward American constitutional principles (freedom of speech, freedom of the press, separation of church and state) augurs well for strength in grasping monarchical principles
  4. Proven ability to charm older men will come in handy for making alliances
  5. Beehive hairstyle is natural for crown
  6. Charging Alaskan taxpayers for living in own home demonstrates sound understanding of need to impose taxes to support regal lifestyle
  7. Appointment of high school friend as Secretary of Agriculture based on friend's childhood love of cows augurs well for distribution of patronage to a few favorites
  8. Firing of town and state employees on dubious grounds shows proper attitude toward underlings
  9. Refusal to answer questions from press, public indicates realization that access to sovereign must be limited in order to maintain royal dignity
  10. $150,000 wardrobe purchased for two-month campaign season shows understanding of need to dress well in order to impress lowly peasants

15 comments:

Lezlie said...

Funny! Or scary, depending on how you look at it. :-)
Lezlie
Books 'N Border Collies

Anerje said...

Wonderful post! Real laugh out loud stuff!

Mimi said...

Bwahahahahahahahahaha.

Ms. Lucy said...

Ahhh...but truth be said...Every woman dreams to be queen in one way or another. And,everyone is fascinated by a queen-especially the most memorable ones. Take all of us following this blog, for example; we can't get enough of it-maybe that's why everyone's so obsessed with Lady Palin.

Sarah said...

Is it true that Queen Isabella once tried to have "Archbishop, I Am Gay" banned from the Berkeley Castle library?

Susan A said...

No, I think it was "Piers Has Two Daddies"

Susan Higginbotham said...

Thanks, Lezlie, Anerje, and Mimi!

Good point, Ms. Lucy!

Sarah, Susan, you ladies are on tonight! Or was it "Neddy's Roommate"?

Sarah said...

I like that one!

Lady D. said...

Great fun!

Susan A said...

I like that line from Sarah Palin's assistant to the critical blogger "you should be ashamed. Stop blogging. Stop blogging right now"
Maybe you'll hear from her.

Nan Hawthorne said...

Sorry Ms. Lucy, I don't want to be queen.. I definitely want to be king. Who do you think my autobiographical character is in AN INVOLUNTARY KING?

Susan, as usual, you do not disappoint. Brilliant as ever.. your insights are only equalled by your wit.

Thanks for giving me such a hard act to follow.. no really, thanks...

:)

Nan Haawthorne

Margaret D. said...

Deliciously funny (assuming her ticket doesn't get elected, in which case - not so much).

Ms. Lucy said...

I can't argue with that. I was just looking at it from a woman's point of view (and in a humourous kind of way...much like a woman's prorogative to choose her role as she sees fit). Sorry if I've offended you, I really do enjoy your blog.
Lucy

Susan Higginbotham said...

Thanks, Nan & Margaret!

Ms. Lucy, no offense taken at all! I got the humor of your remark.

Christy K Robinson said...

Brilliant. Should have been on David Letterman's Top Ten. Thank you!