Ten Reasons Why Sarah Palin Would Make a Great Medieval Queen

Some worrywarts are concerned that if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the 2008 presidential election, we Americans will have a woman with quite limited qualifications sitting a heartbeat away from the presidency, occupied by a 72-year-old whose personality makes him a textbook candidate for a massive heart attack. But am I going to worry? Not me! I'm just going to sit back and pretend that I'm in medieval England. Because, as you will see, Palin would make a wonderful medieval queen.

 

1. Inability to accurately describe vice-president's role shows grasp of need to expand role of queen when circumstances demand it
   
2. Taking daughters uninvited to events at taxpayer expense, then claiming that they are there on official business, shows determination to groom them for hereditary office
   
3. Hostility toward American constitutional principles (freedom of speech, freedom of the press, separation of church and state) augurs well for strength in grasping monarchical principles
   
4. Proven ability to charm older men will come in handy for making alliances
   
5. Beehive hairstyle is natural for crown
   
6. Charging Alaskan taxpayers for living in own home demonstrates sound understanding of need to impose taxes to support regal lifestyle
   
7. Appointment of high school friend as Secretary of Agriculture based on friend's childhood love of cows augurs well for distribution of patronage to a few favorites
   
8. Firing of town and state employees on dubious grounds shows proper attitude toward underlings
   
9. Refusal to answer questions from press, public indicates realization that access to sovereign must be limited in order to maintain royal dignity
   
10. $150,000 wardrobe purchased for two-month campaign season shows understanding of need to dress well in order to impress lowly peasants