Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Wars of the Roses on Facebook: Part I

After howling over Kathryn's and Rachel's joint post on what would happen if Edward II joined Facebook, I was, naturally, compelled to speculate what would happen if some fifteenth-century folks joined as well (with the occasional sixteenth-century visitor). So here it is: The Wars of the Roses on Facebook (more to come):

Margaret of Anjou joined the Frenchwomen Don’t Get Fat and French Girls Make Better Brides groups.

Henry VI needs a marriage manual. Fast.
William de la Pole, Marquis of Suffolk commented: Just lie back and think of England.
Henry VI sent a private message to William de la Pole, Marquis of Suffolk: It’s not working.
William de la Pole, Marquis of Suffolk replied: Is the girl in the bed with you?
Henry VI replied: Oh!!!!

Henry VI sent a gift of Maine to Charles VII.
Margaret of Anjou, William de la Pole, Marquis of Suffolk, and Rene of Anjou like this

William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk joined the I'm a Duke Now, and Everything's Going to Be Just Great group

William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk joined the Don’t Think of It as Exile, Think of It as a Holiday! group

William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk, fails to appreciate how having your head chopped off with a sword is any better than having it chopped off with an ax.
Anne Boleyn likes this.

Richard, Duke of York thinks it’s time to come back to England
Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick likes this
Edmund Beaufort, first Duke of Somerset commented: Oh, boy. I can hardly wait.
Richard, Duke of York commented: Neither can I!

Margaret of Anjou joined the Preggers at Last! About Bloody Time! group.

Richard, Duke of York, wrote on Margaret of Anjou’s wall: Hey, it’s been a while since Henry VI posted! What’s up there?
Margaret of Anjou: He’s just not into social networking anymore. That’s all. Don’t stress about it.

Margaret of Anjou joined the Let’s Name Our Firstborn Son Edward Just to Bug the Hell out of Future Historical Novelists group

Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick took a quiz: Who Fathered Margaret of Anjou’s baby? Would you like to take the quiz?

Richard, Duke of York is really excited about being named Protector of England while Henry VI “rests.”
Cecily, Duchess of York likes this.

Margaret joined the Just Because I’m Halfway Civil to a Man Doesn’t Mean He Fathered My Child group

Henry VI is feeling much better now, thank you.
Margaret of Anjou likes this
Edward of Lancaster likes this

Richard, Duke of York, wrote on Edward of Lancaster’s wall: Aren’t you too young to have a Facebook account?
Edward of Lancaster commented: Bug off, Ricky boy.

Richard, Duke of York joined the Don’t Think of It as Exile, Think of It as a Holiday! group

Richard, Duke of York does not have a Facebook account listed. Would you like to start an account for Richard, Duke of York?

Margaret of Anjou is looking forward to conquering her enemies and then getting back to her nice, comfy bed at Greenwich.

Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick sent a gift of a shiny new crown to Edward, Earl of March.

Edward, Earl of March has updated his profile to read "Edward IV, King of England."

Margaret of Anjou [this post has been removed from Facebook due to inappropriate language]

Richard Woodville, Lord Rivers and Anthony Woodville, Lord Scales joined the I Love the House of York! No, Really! group

Margaret of Anjou and Edward, Prince of Wales joined the Don’t Think of It as Exile, Think of It as a Holiday! group

Elizabeth Grey joined the I Don’t Put Out! Not Even if You’re a King! group

Elizabeth Grey is heading to Reading today and can hardly wait until her next status update.
Jacquetta, Duchess of Bedford likes this.

Elizabeth Grey is married to THE KING!!!!! That’s right, girlfriends, THE KING!!!!!!
Richard Grey, Thomas Grey, Anthony Woodville, Anne Woodville, Mary Woodville, Edward Woodville, Richard Woodville, Lionel Woodville, Jacquetta Woodville, Joan Woodville, Richard Woodville, Lord Rivers, and Jacquetta Woodville, Duchess of Bedford like this
Eliza, Lady Scales: You rule, girl!
Katherine Woodville: Oh, I want to marry a duke!
John Woodville: Got an elderly duchess for me, sis?

Facebook was temporarily unavailable today. Our technical support staff has investigated and discovered that this was due to excessively heavy traffic on our site in the area of Grafton, England. We apologize for the inconvenience.

William Hastings wrote on Edward IV’s wall. “Caught you, Ned, didn’t she?”

Cecily, Duchess of York is having a very bad day.

Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick, is having an even worse day.

Eleanor Talbot is trying to figure out how to get the royal monograms off her silverware.

Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick sent a friend request to Margaret of Anjou. Message: If you ever feel like working together, Meg, just PM me.

16 comments:

CelticLady said...

After the horrible day I had , this made me chuckle, thank you...

Muse in the Fog said...

This is hilarious!

Loved: "William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk, fails to appreciate how having your head chopped off with a sword is any better than having it chopped off with an ax.
Anne Boleyn likes this."

And: "Don’t Think of It as Exile, Think of It as a Holiday! group"

Thanks for the great ending to my night, can't wait for the next installments :)

Kathryn said...

Heehee, love it!

Robinbird said...

Oh this is wonderful!!! I love it!!!

Elspeth Antonelli said...

Brilliant.

Mimi said...

Bwahhahahahahahha!

dolleygurl said...

That was hilarious - I really needed that!

Su_H said...

Loved it! LOL! :-)

Elizabeth said...

My favorite has to be "Eleanor Talbot is trying to figure out how to get the royal monograms off her silverware".

Nicole said...

Wow, I just found your blog, and this was amazing!

Miss Moppet said...

I would join Facebook if it was this much fun!

Susan Higginbotham said...

Thanks, everyone! More to come!

Nell said...

Wonderful!! More, Please!

trish wilson said...

Many a true word is spoken in jest and many a jest comes true.

Tis true it’s a pity
And pity tis tis true

Lynn Irwin Stewart said...

So funny! Thanks for the laugh!!

Jules Frusher said...

Fantastic! And soooo believable lol! Thanks for the laughs :-)